Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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