please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
