thus making me awesome and them whores
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize