think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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