Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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