I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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