i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
