Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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