Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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