WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
ttyl tear gas
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
