the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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