Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
