what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
is it fun? or sober?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
