so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
