you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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