apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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