I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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