We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
