Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
