return my video game
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
