you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
