your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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