we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
