you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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