He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
