did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
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That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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