That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
