i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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