I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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