Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
