I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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