i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
