Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
