Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
