great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
