if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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