he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
