My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
