He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
