"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
