He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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