I hope mine doesn't look like that
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize