Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
