Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I deserve this hangover.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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