i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
