Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
