i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
did you just send me my own nude
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
