Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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