I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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