Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the day after is always just damage control
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
