his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
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New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
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You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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