google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
