i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
