As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
