Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
