He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
