U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
