so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize