i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
