I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize