Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
