No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
