i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
