Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
