I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
