so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Holy shit dude........stairs
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
