Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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